Holidays: Emigrants between two worlds, the return home, the hidden struggles and the strength to start afresh
Being an emigrant and returning home for the holidays is an intensely ambivalent experience: joy and nostalgia, a sense of belonging and a feeling of being out of place often coexist within the same journey. For the Italian-British community, this seasonal return takes on particular significance: it is the moment when cultural roots meet the life built abroad, a brief bridge between two worlds that one loves and which, at the same time, can cause pain.
Between two worlds: identity suspended between yesterday and today
On a psychological level, a holiday – seen also as a homecoming – is a way of reassessing one’s sense of identity. After months (or years) spent in a different linguistic and social context, returning home means rekindling memories, family roles and habits that may have become unfamiliar. For some, this is a source of comfort: the taste of home-cooked food, walks through familiar places, and one’s mother tongue flowing freely once more. For others, however, this very familiarity can be unsettling: parents may appear to have aged, and may still be stuck in the same patterns of thinking we left behind… friends may have gone their separate ways, and the city itself may have been transformed by tourism and the passage of time. This disconnect often produces a simultaneous sense of not belonging: one no longer feels completely ‘from here’, nor entirely ‘from there’.
Holidays and your wallet: the hidden cost of returning to a tourist destination
Financial pressures are a crucial issue, especially when returning to a country that is heavily reliant on tourism. Cultural expectations (dinners, gifts, social gatherings), combined with the high costs of accommodation, transport and activities, can turn holidays into a source of financial stress. For those working abroad, exchange rates, managing bills back home and the desire to ‘celebrate’ with family can put a strain on the household budget. This creates an internal conflict: the need to be present and generous clashes with the responsibility to maintain financial stability in daily life abroad. Dealing with these tensions requires planning, dialogue and clear boundaries: setting a fixed budget, being transparent about one’s financial means and agreeing on activities that prioritise the quality of time spent together rather than the cost.
Parents, friends and long-distance relationships: reconnecting in a matter of weeks
Reconnecting with parents and old friends has a powerful emotional impact. These encounters are usually concentrated into a few weeks, heightening the significance of every moment: long-delayed conversations, underlying resentments and unresolved emotional needs surface with intensity.
Often, returning home brings to light family dynamics that distance had softened: parental expectations, traditional roles (son/daughter, brother/sister) and communication patterns resurface. Reunions can be a source of healing — rekindling emotional bonds, clearing up misunderstandings, sharing successes and fears — but also of frustration when differences in life paths remain irreconcilable. With friends, limited time forces a selection: some relationships are easily strengthened, whilst others prove to be superficial. Accepting that the quality of these bonds may have changed is part of emotional growth.
Attempting to reintegrate into the culture one left behind is an exercise in rapid adaptation. Within a few weeks, one rediscovers social codes, rituals and small social norms that seem familiar but require energy to be reactivated. This ‘temporary reintegration’ can be exhilarating feeling at home, taking part in local celebrations, rediscovering old habits. But it is also draining: the constant switching between two languages, two rhythms of life and two support networks depletes psychological resources. The sense of incompleteness and the realisation that time is limited can fuel a sense of emotional haste, preventing one from fully enjoying these encounters.
Leaving again and a new separation: the pain of leaving and the strength to start afresh
The final parting — the moment of departure — can cause pain and a sense of loss. Leaving behind the warmth of family, cherished routines and familiar surroundings evokes a sense of separation and, at times, grief for what is being left behind. Yet, for many emigrants, leaving also rekindles the desire to set out anew: returning abroad is not merely an escape, but a life choice, a professional or personal project. This desire is fuelled by the realisation that identity is multifaceted and fluid: one can be connected to several places at the same time without this diminishing the value of any of them.
Practical advice:
plan your holiday budget carefully, communicate openly with your family about your needs, set aside time for personal rest during your stay, and allow yourself time to process complex emotions. Reflect on the fact that some relationships change and that nostalgia is legitimate; this helps to transform your return into an experience of self-care, capable of nurturing both continuity with your roots and the strength to set off again.